My Family Of "Anyway Friends"

"Anyway friends" they are the friends that love you and will always be there for you no matter what. They will be your touch stone, your rock, your confidant those people that you will share all of life's experiences with! Your "anyway friends" will be with you through all the laughter and tears, all the good times and bad. Each of us that are so blessed to have "anyway friends" can get through anything life throws at us. Some people assume that your family is going to fill that space in your life, but that is not true for everyone. In some cases blood is not thicker than water.

I have an "anyway friend" that goes back to the beginning of junior high. Even if we have not talked on the phone for awhile, we pick up right where we left off. It is like we just talked two days ago, "so anyway how do it go with such and such"? So Della is one of my "anyway friends" love you girl! As I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones through social networking I find that my circle of "anyway friends" is growing. Much love to you all, old and new and thank you for being my very special "Anyway Friends"!

Let me, Let You Go. Dedicated to D with love.....

This is a poem I wrote last year and I am dedicating it to D with very much love during this difficult and sad time...Love you D!

Let me, let you go

The beauty of you and the way you touched my life
As precious and lovely as anything I could have ever imagined
But for now my love let me, let you go

Nothing will ever stop the aching and yearning for more
One more touch, one more smile, one more moment to look in your eyes
Just to hold you, to see your beautiful face, but, I have to let you go

To try to hold on, too long and too tight, would never be right
I will hold you close in my heart and carry you with me after this life
But for now my love let me, let you go

From the moment you came into my life you brought joy and light
For all the moments in time that you were a part of my life
You will always and forever have a treasured space in my heart

You will be with me under the shining stars at night
I will feel you on a warm summer breeze blowing over a sunlit sea
Together again someday we shall be, but for now my angel, fly free…..

Shelia November 28th, 2009

Celebrate You ~

Let me just start by saying that I spend a lot of holidays, birthdays, new years and valentines days alone and it is by choice. I think there is a lot of pressure and hype on these occasions that lead people to become very lonely during these times if they are not celebrating with others. I will even go so far as to say being with a significant other due to the fact that Valentines Day is this weekend. But here is the thing, you do not have to celebrate every so called special occasion with other people. Maybe this is a great time for you to pamper yourself, put yourself first and just do something that you would generally not do. Make it special for you and about you. Buy some champagne and strawberries and take a relaxing bubble bath. Buy some wine, chocolates, caviar, whatever you like and indulge yourself! Make it about you, not what the hype of the occasion promotes it to be.

The point is to celebrate the beauty in life and in you! I so worry about being alone I relish the fact that I am and enjoy my time with myself. I find that I am always in a much better place for doing so. No worries about stressing out, what to buy, trying to get just the right gift, plus dealing with the pressure and worring about everything not holding up to all the expectations or the awful feeling of someone being disappointed.

I myself will be celebrating being single and celebrating my life! It does not matter how you do it, just celebrate!

Love Yourself And Learn To Be Happy With Yourself

You know I found through personal experience that there are not enough people who love their selves, actually know who they are and understand how to be happy being alone. So many men and women that can not be alone and be happy alone. I find that so many of us have not figured out how to do all three of these things. We look to others to find self worth, love and happiness. Well I am here to tell you that if do not love yourself and understand what you want, who you are and what makes you tick, no one else is going to be able to figure that out for you. If you have not been able to live your life and be happy with yourself outside of a relationship, no one else is going to be able to "make" you happy! Any relationship will eventually crumble under that type of pressure and it would not be a healthy relationship. I don't think anyone really desires to be that dependent on another person but they just don't know anything else and perhaps this has never even been explained to them. So here it is folks!! I am going to lay it out for you.

I myself took time off from dating because I was making some bad decisions in regards to partners. So I walked away from dating for 6 years. I have now dated a few people for short periods of time due to the fact I now know who I am what I am looking for and what is not acceptable to me. I am also fine with being alone, something I am not sure I was really doing before. At this point I am comfortable saying that I would rather be alone than be in a bad or unsatisfying relationship. I would add to that, I would rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and be lonely!

So you really need to learn to love yourself first and for most, while learning to be alone and to be happy with yourself and the person that you are! Join groups, join a gym, take up hobbies or spend time volunteering. Find ways to get out of the house and be around other people in a relaxed atmosphere that is not a dating circle. Spend time with yourself to actually get to know you. Read self help books what ever it takes do it, because you will not find that relationship you are looking for until you have done these two very important things!

You know a girl friend of mine from along time ago, she and I had an agreement that has always stuck with me and maybe it might help some else out there. The agreement was to "Never give your power away", never let someone have the power to define who you are and what you do in life. Under no circumstances should you be in relationship if someone is hurting you to the point of putting you in danger from them or from yourself. If someone treats you badly, cheats, lies to you, puts you down all the time, makes you feel bad about yourself and does not support you and treat you with respect, honesty and with unconditional love, maybe it is time to move on. If you feel that you are in a situation that you can not handle alone, find help from someone. Anyone a friend, family members or a professional. The pain will pass trust me on this I know from personal experience, but move forward, put one foot in front of the other, breath in and out and keep moving. It will get better, you will never forget but it will get better!

The bottom line is learn to love and be happy with yourself!