Everyone should have an outlet of some kind. I find it a very helpful tool for life. It does not matter what your personal outlet is, fishing, sports, family, faith, charity work, your job or whatever it may be, for me it is writing. It does not have to be something that you are great at, just something you enjoy. I know for myself I have not been the best communicator verbally at times in my life. So there have been times for me when it was easier to write than verbalize something. I am no great writer by any stretch of the imagination, but it is my personal outlet.
I want to thank you for indulging and supporting me in this endeavor. Thank you to all the alumni and friends from LHHS that have signed up to subscribe to my blog, those who have become followers and those of you who read my blogs! I really do appreciate each and every one of you! I hope that there are times when I write something that perhaps it touches you or that in one way or another makes a difference for you! Again, thank you all!
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Learning To Let Go Of Things You Can Not Change
We all have different issues in our lives and things that we can not change. I admit that I can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to certain aspects of my life. For me there is one issue that is really hard for me to let go of. But I have to learn in regards to a certain person to let them take care of themselves and their issues. I can not change anything for or about this person and steps have been taken to make sure that I have no control or say over this persons health issues as they are aging. I do not live in the same town and that control has been given to someone else. So I have to learn not to worry myself into a frenzy over issues that are going on with this person. Things will happened and life already has its plan in place for all of us. To to make myself sick with worry and send my blood pressure through the roof is not the answer, I have to let go. Because it is literally and completely out of my control. It is difficult not to worry about those you love but we all have our own lives to live and each of us is responsible for the decisions and directions that our lives take.
You may have times when other people may say you are not doing your job and accuse you of not being a good friend, partner, parent, son or daughter, but lets be clear you are not walking away from them. You are instead allowing them to live their life with the decisions that they are making for themselves. Let them take the responsibility for their health and well being. It is after all their life and not yours. No matter what the situation is, all relationships are at times difficult at best, and learning that you do not have the power to change people should be enough for each of us. But, it is sometimes not as easy as one would think and when it comes to a parent, child or loved one. However it has to be done, so from today I am moving forward I will listen, be concerned ask questions when appropriate and love them, but that is really all I can do. I have to let go of the things that I can not change!
You may have times when other people may say you are not doing your job and accuse you of not being a good friend, partner, parent, son or daughter, but lets be clear you are not walking away from them. You are instead allowing them to live their life with the decisions that they are making for themselves. Let them take the responsibility for their health and well being. It is after all their life and not yours. No matter what the situation is, all relationships are at times difficult at best, and learning that you do not have the power to change people should be enough for each of us. But, it is sometimes not as easy as one would think and when it comes to a parent, child or loved one. However it has to be done, so from today I am moving forward I will listen, be concerned ask questions when appropriate and love them, but that is really all I can do. I have to let go of the things that I can not change!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Love Yourself And Learn To Be Happy With Yourself
You know I found through personal experience that there are not enough people who love their selves, actually know who they are and understand how to be happy being alone. So many men and women that can not be alone and be happy alone. I find that so many of us have not figured out how to do all three of these things. We look to others to find self worth, love and happiness. Well I am here to tell you that if do not love yourself and understand what you want, who you are and what makes you tick, no one else is going to be able to figure that out for you. If you have not been able to live your life and be happy with yourself outside of a relationship, no one else is going to be able to "make" you happy! Any relationship will eventually crumble under that type of pressure and it would not be a healthy relationship. I don't think anyone really desires to be that dependent on another person but they just don't know anything else and perhaps this has never even been explained to them. So here it is folks!! I am going to lay it out for you.
I myself took time off from dating because I was making some bad decisions in regards to partners. So I walked away from dating for 6 years. I have now dated a few people for short periods of time due to the fact I now know who I am what I am looking for and what is not acceptable to me. I am also fine with being alone, something I am not sure I was really doing before. At this point I am comfortable saying that I would rather be alone than be in a bad or unsatisfying relationship. I would add to that, I would rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and be lonely!
So you really need to learn to love yourself first and for most, while learning to be alone and to be happy with yourself and the person that you are! Join groups, join a gym, take up hobbies or spend time volunteering. Find ways to get out of the house and be around other people in a relaxed atmosphere that is not a dating circle. Spend time with yourself to actually get to know you. Read self help books what ever it takes do it, because you will not find that relationship you are looking for until you have done these two very important things!
You know a girl friend of mine from along time ago, she and I had an agreement that has always stuck with me and maybe it might help some else out there. The agreement was to "Never give your power away", never let someone have the power to define who you are and what you do in life. Under no circumstances should you be in relationship if someone is hurting you to the point of putting you in danger from them or from yourself. If someone treats you badly, cheats, lies to you, puts you down all the time, makes you feel bad about yourself and does not support you and treat you with respect, honesty and with unconditional love, maybe it is time to move on. If you feel that you are in a situation that you can not handle alone, find help from someone. Anyone a friend, family members or a professional. The pain will pass trust me on this I know from personal experience, but move forward, put one foot in front of the other, breath in and out and keep moving. It will get better, you will never forget but it will get better!
The bottom line is learn to love and be happy with yourself!
I myself took time off from dating because I was making some bad decisions in regards to partners. So I walked away from dating for 6 years. I have now dated a few people for short periods of time due to the fact I now know who I am what I am looking for and what is not acceptable to me. I am also fine with being alone, something I am not sure I was really doing before. At this point I am comfortable saying that I would rather be alone than be in a bad or unsatisfying relationship. I would add to that, I would rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and be lonely!
So you really need to learn to love yourself first and for most, while learning to be alone and to be happy with yourself and the person that you are! Join groups, join a gym, take up hobbies or spend time volunteering. Find ways to get out of the house and be around other people in a relaxed atmosphere that is not a dating circle. Spend time with yourself to actually get to know you. Read self help books what ever it takes do it, because you will not find that relationship you are looking for until you have done these two very important things!
You know a girl friend of mine from along time ago, she and I had an agreement that has always stuck with me and maybe it might help some else out there. The agreement was to "Never give your power away", never let someone have the power to define who you are and what you do in life. Under no circumstances should you be in relationship if someone is hurting you to the point of putting you in danger from them or from yourself. If someone treats you badly, cheats, lies to you, puts you down all the time, makes you feel bad about yourself and does not support you and treat you with respect, honesty and with unconditional love, maybe it is time to move on. If you feel that you are in a situation that you can not handle alone, find help from someone. Anyone a friend, family members or a professional. The pain will pass trust me on this I know from personal experience, but move forward, put one foot in front of the other, breath in and out and keep moving. It will get better, you will never forget but it will get better!
The bottom line is learn to love and be happy with yourself!
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